The Five Dollar Word Smiths

For whatever reason, I landed on this web page:

http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/FREEDOM.html

And I was impressed by their use of so many five dollar words. Somehow, they managed
To prove, beyond all doubt, that reality is everything and nothing, all at the same time!

And then they gave themselves away with this :

"There is genuine freedom in the world."

You can't describe reality as being anything and everything and then describe an absolute!
("Tell me when will you be mine? Quandary! Quandary! Quandary!")

The above is simply a desire, a self-serving concept brought on by the natural insecurity
Of the author, motivated by chemicals and cellular requirements. Or maybe not. Maybe both!

More likely, it's an expression of the secret understanding that he or she knows
Mostly nothing at all. Except the spellings of complicated descriptions of what he or she doesn't know.

- g-spot -

Hijab à Trois

I've got it! I know the problem with The War of Terror (T.W.A.T.)!

It's like a Menage à Trois!

Amerikkka is fucking both Afghanistan and Iraq.

First, Amerikka said, I'm gonna fuck me Afghanistan. An' I won't tell Eye-rack.

Then, said Amerikkka, I'm gonna fuck me Eye-rack.

And if Iraq and Afghanistan ever get together with their sister in Iran, they're gonna fuck Amerikkka.

A friend of mine, in a moment of jealous, fucking stupidity, once ratted me out to one of two women who I was fucking at the same time. I told him I'd forgive him "this once because you're a brother, but if you ever, ever, ever fuck with my scene again when I'm havin' anything to do with the ladies, I'll rip your fucking face off your skull and feed it to you raw."

All's fair in love and war. I wonder what this all means.

The Turning of the Worms

The-Not-Ready-For-Blog-Rant-Players, Volume 3

How Deep Is Skin Anyway?

Beautiful women are beautiful to everyone.
Beautiful men are beautiful to women and gay men.
If I knew what this meant, I'd rule the world.

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One Day You'll Get A Spam Email Message...

... the title of which will be the first line from a poem you wrote some time in the past but never shared with anyone. That's when you'll know that you've left the last millennium behind for good.

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Language As A Second English

Hand someone who doesn't read your language a dictionary, with no explanation as to what it is, and you might as well hand them a steaming shit pile. In fact, it would be infinitely more confusing THAN a steaming shit pile!

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Dawn Wells, Batman Smells

Just picked up this nugget about Dawn Wells (aka Mary-Ann, of "Gilligan's Island" fame) off the Internets :

"(December 2006) Will appear as Mrs. Howell in a South Florida production (and world premiere of) Gilligan's Island: The Musical that can be seen in January 19 & 20, 2007, at the Tennessee Williams Theatre, in Key West and February 2-11, 2007 at the Coral Springs Center for the Arts, Coral Springs, FL. In this production she will appear with fellow classic television star, Barry Williams, who portrays Mr. Howell."

I always wondered when I'd feel old, when I'd know I was actually old. I just found out.

Although I think it actually happened quite awhile ago. Oy vey!

- g-spot -

V.A.L.E.N.T.I.N.E.S. Fucking Day

Vile
Atrocious
Lame
Etiolating
Nihilistic
Tedious
Idiotic
Nauseating
Emetic
Sickening

I hope all your little tinselly lovers' cards rot in Hell. Happy Fucking Valentine's Day. Go celebrate the Saint's Day of a beheading victim with a bunch of cute, pink, severed hearts, you dizzy romantic fuckers. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

The Turning of the Worms.

Chopchop

I don't know why they call it a "beheading" instead of a "deheading". In Latin, the prefix, [de-] means "down" or "away from", so it would make sense that if a pissed off guy...I mean "freedom fighter"...ooops...."INSURGENT"...passes an axe or machete-type object through someone's neck, it should be called a "deheading".

Or maybe an "unheading":

"Today, Islamocommunistterrorpeadophiles unheaded fifteen security contractors. The deheaded contractors denied being mercenaries."

By the way, a dude I know who's a soldier-type dude has been thinking of going to Iraq, Afghanistan or Pakistan to make shitloads of money as a private..ah..."security contractor". Except all his army-type buddies who've already done this are telling him the enormous amounts of money they're making aren't worth it, and not to come. THEY'RE fucking off! The freaky part is that an ex-Special Ops dude (like my buddy) can make so much fukkkin munnee that I'm tempted to join the Forces just so I can get kicked out for smoking..."something" (like my buddy).....and get a job as a "private security mercen....I mean, 'contractor' ". It's more than I make now, and it's worth quitting smoking the other shit (the carcinogenic crap the government sells through subsidised farmers) and taking up target practice from the sound of it. Except even the special ops boys think it's too fucked up "over there". What does that tell you about the state of the world, and how accurate the state of Fox™ and CNN™ are? It's all about cut-off, burned heads, I guess....

Anyhow, my buddy is having second thoughts. He's spent more than ten years pointing guns at people and The War on Terror (T.W.A.T.) has corners too weird for even him. He LIKES counter-terrorism work. So fuck Bush's war. Even the war dogs are turning tail. How's that grab ya?

I don't say the "M-word" around him ("Mercen....ARRRRGHHH!!!!!"). He sometimes gets this weird look in his eyes and his whole face changes. Just for a second. Boy, I'm glad P______ is a nice guy with very good ethics and excellent self-discipline. Anyhow...

In the English tongue, [Be-] is usually a prefix which puts stuff TOGETHER with other concepts. Like:

Betrothed
Bewitch
Begone
Belabour
Betwixt

...where [Be-} shows a read "with" or "to" prepositional quality, grammatically and lexicologically-speaking. So I don't get any of this so-called "beheading" shit that Islamophreakoloonies are supposedly doing. I think it's all bullshit. The grammar's all wrong.

Funny. Whenever I see P______ , we never talk about theoretical linguistics, even tho' he's a really clever dude. And he knows how to shoot dogs from the back of a snowmobile with a shotgun (it was under orders in a foreign country). We only ever talk about military shit. I'll have to ask him why that is. Oh well...

PS. In case you were wondering, when it takes more than two shots to kill a savage dog, the snowmobile driver gets to switch places with the rider. That way, everyone gets to have some fun working for Her Majesty. Those old Armed Forces ads really say it like it is: "There's no life like it!"

The Turning of The Worms

Numb-erz Game

They (Congress, or really, the American public, who DO, after all, have a constitutional right of revolution) say BushBaby can have his 21,500 extra troops to create a "surge" in Iraq.

Every hydrologist will tell you that a surge is immediately followed by a trough. But let's look at something less obvious.

There's no draft, and I'd be surprised to hear that enlistment in the American military has suddenly skyrocketed. So those "extra" 21,500 troops are actually 21,500 pissed off people who are going BACK to Iraq, perhaps for a third or fourth tour. Others are probably fat supply corporals and clipboard jockeys who are more used to moving around cases of green underwear and toothpaste than humping an 80 lb. backpack and a rifle through hot, deadly streets...

But that's not the real numbers game.

Military science teaches us a rule of three: if you want one, you need three. For example, on the tactical level, if you have one soldier wandering around with a gun, you need another one cooking dinner for when s/he gets back to camp, while a third one will be sleeping. Then, they switch positions every eight hours. To get one soldier working out there in the field, you need three in total. Notice that there are no rest breaks on this schedule; it's a burnout in the end.

Likewise, operationally, if you have a platoon of 18-22 infantry establishing a forward fire base, you need another platoon backing them up, and another platoon providing logistics and evacuation. Add administration, and you're up to a company of 80+ soldiers. It takes a company to field a platoon.

On a strategic/theatre level, if you field a company that is exclusively front-line combat infantry, you need a support and logistics company to transport, feed, medicate and administer them. And you need a full company back home "in the pipeline" to replace casualties, and for eventual turnover (the psychiatric casualty rate for soldiers in sustained, intense combat is more than 90% after 28 days). You need a battalion to field a company.

So when we hear that BushMonster and Co. have just gotten 21,500 "new" soldiers for their Springtime SurgeFest 2007™, does that mean there's going to be roughly 7,000 "new" soldiers out there, of whom 4,666 will be cooking, sleeping, shitting, and trying to shake yesterday's work out of their nerves? Leaving about 2,000 actually in country with guns, practicing the Profession of Arms? Or does it mean that 64,500 front-liners have been redeployed to create a temporary spearhead that can, by the rule of three, field about 7,100 soldiers on a 24/7 basis while the remainder (a) stand by as a backup/reinforcement pool, and (b) sleep.

So that's the military science class for the day: numbers don't lie; politicians and the media lie. Here's the homework question: what good is a 24/7 fielding of 2,334 to 7,100 front-line soldiers on a temporary basis going to do in a country of over 30,000,000 pissed-off people that's starting to seriously fall apart?

Get back to me.

The Turning of the Worms