The Dark Side Of Oz? Pppphhhlll!

Fuck that stupid "Wizard of Oz / Dark Side of the Moon" thing; it's lame, it's reaching, it's a little bit gay, and frankly, it doesn't line up unless you're on massive amounts of Quaaludes and E (which is also a little bit gay). However, I just watched the last 25 minutes of "2001 : A Space Odyssey" synced to Pink Floyd's "Echoes", and I'm a Gawdamned believer, baby!

Stanley Kubrick was clearly the anti-Chirst, we were just too busy to notice. Now what?

- g-spot -

The-Not-Ready-For-Blog-Rant-Players, Volume 5

What I Don't Understand Is

The human body exhibits such startling symmetry.
So why is your heart on the left side, and not in the center, of your chest?

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Conquer Your Fears For Only $19.95!

Next time you're feeling apprehensive about an upcoming event, like a wedding or funeral or barmitzvah or presentation at the U.N., remember this:

It makes no sense to impart a greater sense of dread to one event over another; you have as much potential for getting brutally murdered the second you step outside your front door as you do of awkwardly running into an ex at a wedding (okay, maybe not the same odds, but up there!). So if all things carry an equal measure of dread, then shouldn't dread be as ignorable as, say, breathing?

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What I Didn't Need To See Before Dinner

I just heated up some bizzaro chicken-balls-in-a-bag chinese food thing. Easy enough to prepare; just add microwaves and voila! However, the packaging definitely requires a rework; extricating the poor lil' fellas from their protective wrapping brought to mind an alien abortion, or at the very least, a David Lynch moment. Food should not do this!

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Well, Something Not Nice Is Going On

About a dozen of Metro Toronto's finest fire, ambulance and police just went firing down south on the D.V.P., sirens and lights blazing. I'm just glad they kept going.

- Update -

The D.V.P. south is a parking-lot and there are sirens everywhere. This cannot be good.

- g-spot -

The Truth About The Flu (ReWrite)

Tell me : what is the most astonishing point in the following dissertation?

"In the U.S., there is currently an estimated 25–50 million cases of the flu reported each year — leading to 150,000 hospitalizations and 30,000–40,000 deaths yearly. If these figures were to be estimated incorporating the rest of the world, there would be an average of approximately 1 billion cases of flu, around 3–5 million cases of severe illness, and 300,000–500,000 deaths annually.

Flu-related deaths can result from pneumonia and from exacerbations of cardiopulmonary conditions and other chronic diseases. Deaths of older adults account for more than 90% of deaths attributed to pneumonia and influenza."

I would think "Deaths of older adults account for more than 90% of deaths" tops the list. Admittedly, the flu may be a minor-to-medium annoyance to you and me, but it's one of Nature's great "Plan B"s for those who refuse to go quietly; it's like the young ganging up on the old, taking them out by spreading germs. Hmm, and guilt-free... it almost seems premeditated, in a sub-conscious sort of way.

- g-spot -

P.S. If someone had asked me who I wanted to be when I grew up when I was a child, and I knew then what I know now, I would have said "Nature. I want to be just like Nature when I grow up. She makes so much fucking sense!"

Paris Hilton Speaks Out

"I Don't Deserve Jail Time", she said. Regarding her invalid driver's license, which she says she was never notified about : "I Have People Who Do That For Me... I Just Sign What They Tell Me To Sign."

First off, anyone who speaks in all caps must be... oops, my bad.

Second off, she's basically saying that she's not responsible for her own actions; if there's been a slip-up, one her minions is to blame. Gee, I hope my boss never commits murder or that's life in the pokey for me.

I find it sort of amusing that she was actually given a jail sentence; I guess the judge figures he can make more on the book rights (i.e. "Why I Threw Paris In The Slammer") than from a bribe from her dad (sorry, one of her dad's minions).

Whatever. She's like the "American Idol" of the famous-because-I'm-famous crowd... who gives a rat's ass if she goes to prison or not, or is blown up in a terrorist attack, or lands on the moon? What difference would it make to my life if she suddenly vaporized into a puff of smoke?

None, of course, except I'd have to think of something else to blog about.

- g-spot -

Conspiracy Theory Du Jour

Okay, so none of this is verifiable, it could all be due to some other crappy program I've installed, it could be the weather for all I know, or it could just be my ingrained paranoia (probably the latter), however...

eDonkey (okay, aMule; whatever) and bittorrent, my pirate programs of choice, have been crashing frequently this past week. I've left these programs to run days and nights on end before, 24/7, and aMule crashes rarely and Azureus, not at all. And yet I come home and both are frozen solid every day; only a hard boot will bring things back to life.

Coincidentally, Apple launched Apple TV recently, basically a hardware box that sends video to your T.V. wirelessly, although the only content it will display (tah-dah!) is stuff you buy through the iTunes store. Also, coincidentally, they released an OS "fix" around the same time, then suddenly, the pier-to-pier software starts crashing. So imagine you're sitting around a board meeting and someone suggests that Apple TV will be far more successful if aMule and Azureus die a painful death. But you just can't start crippling freeware software in your operating system because it cuts into your bottom line. That wouldn't be cricket, not to mention the press would be brutal, if not irreversibly damaging... who wants to develop on a platform who's owners target you specifically just because they don't happen to fancy your software? Wouldn't that be sort of like a Toyota Corolla® deciding on its own that it would rather turn left instead of right?

So you mention, jokingly, to your cohorts at the board meeting, that you'd give any of the OS programmers a $50K bonus if they could just figure out how to stop these fuckers, and let Nature take its course. It's called "plausible deniability" and it preys on the most pathetic, yet strongest, of man's instincts, greed.

What these guys never seem to realize, though, is that we will always find a way around every road block and obstacle they drop in our path, because we actually care about this shit and they don't, they just care about money. Think about it : who is likely to be more successful, the person trying to invent the ultimate cipher, or the person trying to break it?

Duh.

- g-spot -

Definition Of A Meeting

People getting together to discuss possibly doing something productive so that they can feel like they've done something productive. I ask you : wouldn't just doing something productive be simpler?

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