The Schizophrenia of Paris

This just in :

"PARIS Hilton is supposedly at the breaking point in jail - but she'll be breaking out the champagne and partying like mad the second she's released, if her parents get their way.

Page Six has learned that the celebutard's doting daddy, Rick Hilton, was recently shopping a "Get Out of Jail" bash for his little girl to the top Las Vegas clubs, including Pure, the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and the Palms."

My guess is God is going to get shunted off to the family vault the minute Paris hears about the bash. Which is maybe where he should be. Save him for a rainy day.

You know, I feel like this is what it must have been like during the 20's; mind-numbing celebrity drivel, evermore outrageous... and you know what happened after the 20's?

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What I love about this guy is that...

... he plays the most vicious T.V. executive imaginable on "Studio 60", and yet he is as clearly fucked up as any of us! Whoa!... I mean Woe! to his wife and kids; I think he's got about 4 good years left.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-weber/paris-when-it-dribbles_b_51478.html

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The American Presidential Race

What the fuck?!?

Unless Gawd Almighty intervenes and smotes Dubya's ass in some Heavenly Display of Blazing Justice (Ed. we feel it necessary to also point out how notoriously unreliable Gawd is), I can't help but note that the next American presidential election is about 18 months away. So, why is the fucking news filled with lurid depictions of every burp, hiccup and fart eminatting from 20+ dickheads no one will remember 18 months and 1 week from now?

Because America is getting really tired of watching losers get elevated to angelic status on "American Idol". After awhile, it's kind of depressing, if you know what I mean.

So now everyone wants to watch the mediocre, second-rate actors who are willing to flush hundreds of millions of dollars down the toilet to get everyone to flip a switch for them. They're sad but in a different way than the "American Idol" guys are sad. It's some kind of dramatic curve... first we root for the underdog, then we cry for the blood of the vanquished.

I've been trying to come up with some sort of formula to describe the downfall of America, something that would predict what the rest of our lives, at least, might be like, but I come up empty. America may be the river you stepped into, but she's not the river you're standing in.

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Vegetarians Are Food Too

I admire vegetarians, being so certain of the dividing line between "which living thing I can eat" and "which living thing should I not eat". It's good there's SOMEBODY out there keeping score, making sure that even a small portion of the populace "does the right thing". Hmmm, never made much sense to me, though, why roast chicken is far more appealing than brussel sprouts (although I happen to like brussel sprouts very much). Ah well, all I know is it's bad and I should hate myself for it.

Ever wonder why so many lesbians are vegetarians? Two words : "Self" and "Loathing".

Well, anyway, just want to wrap this up by saying that I fully intend to chow my way through those 67,000+ carcasses I'm destined to eat before I go (see "Not-Ready-For-Blog-Rant Vol 2") , and if there is a God, some descendent of some bug that nibbled on Beethoven in his grave, will take a liking to me as well. It's all about the little things!

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P.S. Okay, that was a little too "Eating Roul" meets "Blue Velvet", I think...

P.P.S. Oh, and vegetarians : half of India doesn't eat meat. Have you considered commuting?